I underestimate her

She keeps all her knowledge a secret and shocks us all by coming out with it as if it is something she has always done. 

Apparently she can count to 15.  With no prompting.  Something we just discovered.  I have asked her to count with me many, many times in the past. Sometimes she would join me and say 1, 2, but most of the time she just ignored my request.  This weekend, I hear her counting away to herself, who knows how long she has actually had this skill. 

She also knows most of the alphabet, another thing she decided to keep to herself.  Until we were trying to get her to sleep one night and she was doing everything she could to keep herself awake... including singing the ABCs.  Again, I have asked her to sing it with me many times and she just ignored my request. 

Silly me, assuming her refusal to humor me meant she didn't know these things.  Apparently she just likes to master it completely before sharing with anyone else!  It is a bit strange to not hear the practicing, but I guess we all learn differently :-)

Just a cute note about this picture; she picked out the elephant cookie as a special treat but then decided not to eat it because it was "too pretty"

A Birthday Party

I have subconciously been putting off this post, which I didn't realize until I starting pulling it together.  The emotions surrounding this day are still raw and conflicting.  I don't know how to write about it.  So, I think I will keep it short and sweet.  We had a fabulous birthday celebration with family, birthday cake and an Ariel balloon.  Yet the heavy feeling in our hearts could not be ignored and was overwhelming at times.   Thank goodness for the laughter and excitement of little ones.

Birthday girl!

Birthday cake!

A new dollhouse!

 

Fuse beads with Erwin!

And someone has finally warmed up to Grandpa :-)

Somebody is FOUR!!

I am so proud of the little lady she is becoming.  I love her heart, I love her creativity, I love her eagerness to learn, I love her constant requests for one more hug and kiss. 

- She is super excited to be four years old.  I have been using that to my advantage and she has willingly played along.  We made an agreement that she will try at least one bite of everything... because that is what four year olds do.  And she has lived up to it (which is a HUGE accomplishment considering her picky ways).  She has put up less of a fight when I ask her to do things on her own (get dressed, brush teeth, go to sleep by herself, clean her room)... because that is what four year olds do.  Next up, stop the finger sucking.  She talks about how she did certain things a "long long time ago, when I was 2 (or 3)". 

- She has been asking to learn how to read for ages and we (by we, I mostly mean school!) have taken the plunge.  She can read a good number of sight words and we are now working on sounding out words.  One of her favorite games in the car is to have me go through the alphabet letter by letter and she will figure out a word that starts with that letter.  The challenge is to think of a new word each time.

- I am impressed with her self-confidence.  One day in the car, I kept mixing up her and Laurel.  She told me that it was "ok that I got them confused and it was because they are both pretty".  She has asked to play certain sports because she knows she is good at them.  She doesn't hesitate to speak with the people around us and is always wanting to share some story with whoever will listen.

- She is NOT a morning person.  It takes us forever to wake her up each morning and she will ask for just a few more minutes over and over and over and over again.

- She only wants to wear dresses these days.  It is a battle to get her to wear anything else.

- She loves to see Laurel grow and develop and will come running down the hall to tell me what new word Laurel just said or what new skill Laurel just accomplished.

- Of course, four comes with some challenges and attitude that I am not quite prepared to deal with yet. She is always telling me, "I told you so". Her whining can get a little out of control.  And I haven't yet figured out how to deal with the tattling. 

- She has had some tough stuff to work through in the last couple months and she has handled it with more grace and understanding than I ever expected.  Working through life and death concepts was not something I expected her to have to deal with at this young age.  She is working through the loss of her beloved Uncle in her own time and she is slowing grasping what it means for him to be in Heaven and that we don't get to see him again.  As time is passing, the emotional side of it is starting to set in and she talks about him alot.  She says that she misses him and wishes he could be with us forever, she wishes that she could play with him again, she is sad that he didn't get to see all her new birthday toys.  She says she thinks about him in her sleep. She talks about how much he loved her and that he is still in her heart.   If she hears someone mention Heaven or God, she is quick to share that her Uncle Roy is there.  It breaks my heart that this is something she has to deal with right now... but we are all doing what we can to get through it together.  Her memories, her hugs and willingness to talk about him have been a comfort.

Summer is here

And that means yardwork.  We have quite the little helpers.

Little Monkeys

Both of the girls have always been climbers... early on I gave up trying to stop them (it was a losing battle) and focused on teaching them how to do it safely instead.  Maya has become very good at it over her four years of practice and I really don't worry about her much.  She understands her limits and will carefully practice until she can climb what she wants to.  Unfortunately, Laurel just wants to do what her sister does and has no concept of heights, danger or limits.  This has made for some big fits at the playground.

Mastering the rock walls.

She has mastered the ladders.

But became very upset when I wouldn't help her up the rock wall.  She simply isn't tall enough!

 

Following Maya up the "big mountain".

 

They even attempt to climb up the slide (the giggles are the best part of this video).

 

 

This is hard.

Sometimes the sadness is overwhelming and seems to come out of nowhere.  The memories of the past and the loss of a particular vision of the future never leave my mind.  These two help, their smiles and hugs are a continual reminder of what we still have.  Of what we have to look forward to.  Something I am trying to remind myself of each and every day.  I am not sure how else to get through this.

 

Heartbroken

Roy - Thank you for filling the role of 'brother I always wanted'. Thank you for welcoming me into your family with open arms and making me feel a part of it from day one.  I have yet to meet anyone else in this world who can apply a quote from Friends to any situation... I finally found someone who understood each and every one of my references.  I will never forget "Roy and Sarah's Weekend of Fun" and our discovery of the greatest salad bar ever.  We are very similar people, which is why I think we got along so easily.  Thank you for teaming up with me to pick on your brother.  I will miss you... I can't believe you are gone. 

Maya and Laurel - we will never let you forget your Uncle Roy, our memories will become stories that you are told often.  He loved each of you more than you will understand and was so proud of every milestone you reached.  He cried tears of joy the day each of you were born.  He carefully chose a special outfit for you on your birthdays, making sure it never included pink.  Although we are devastated that you will not be able to get to know him further as you grow up, we know he will forever be in your hearts. Our wish is that you will always be able to feel his love.  Hug your t-rex tight, Maya.